


Feet Files

by NotJustFeet



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-19
Updated: 2012-10-19
Packaged: 2017-11-16 15:23:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/540924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotJustFeet/pseuds/NotJustFeet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the resting place of random bits of story that have passed through my brain and keyboard. Some may get continued in the future, some may not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Master List

Chapter One: Master List  
Chapter Two: The Avengers / Discworld crossover


	2. Sergeant Loki of the Ankh Morpork City Watch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired from a prompt over at Avenger Kink. I sat down, planned it out, wrote half of the first chapter, and then realised that I didn't have a great grasp on Vimes, or Loki. And so it was left abandoned, in this half finished state.

“Five,” said Colon.

“Four,” said Nobby Nobbs.

“Three,” said Angua.

“Two,” said Carrot.

“One,” said Detritus.

“Aaargh,” said the spectral horned figure as it fell through the ceiling and on down through the floor.

“How remarkable,” said Ponder Stibbons.

“Just get it out of the Watch House,” said Vimes.

 

The first time the apparition had appeared, it had fallen through the floor of the Mended Drum, and gone unnoticed in the usual turmoil. Only the Librarian really noticed, and it shrugged it off.

For a city like Ankh-Morpork, supernatural occurrences were run of the mill. With vampires, werewolves, dwarves, trolls and gnolls running about, a single falling spectre didn't merit much more than a raised eyebrow.

At least until it fell through the Patricians bedroom.

The wizards were first on the scene. With words likes 'ectothermic', 'phantasmal amplitude', and 'dimension warping', it certainly sounded serious. The Watch had also turned up, but as there was nothing to arrest, they stayed for the floor show. The Patrician tolerated it before retiring to his study. He didn't need to ask for regular reports.

For the next few days, wizards were everywhere. While they would have preferred to be sitting inside by the fire, dreaming of the next big dinner, standing around wasn't too bad. They were able to stand around on street corner, looking impressive and occasionally looking down at a black box. Best of all, Ridcully couldn't shout at them to show some enthusiasm.

Vimes had watched the show with a jaundiced eye. There was nothing illegal being done, but a lifetime of instincts itched at him. If nothing was being done now, it was only a matter of time.

\--

“How many times has this phantasm been seen?” Stibbons asked, consulting a small black notebook.

“Too damn many,” growled Vimes.

“Fifteen,” said Carrot helpfully.

“Remarkable,” repeated Stibbons. “And always at the same time.”

“Get rid of it,” Vimes told him flatly. It wasn't that Vimes objected to the supernatural, he objected to everything. It was the fact that it had invaded his watch house, his watch, and showed no sign of buggering off any time soon.

“This is an unprecedented chance to study the ectothermic translation,” Stibbons protested. “We can study the spectre in its natural habitat.”

“I thought these things had tentacles,” Nobby whispered to Colon.

“This is one of the ones who don't,” Colon said authoritatively.

Vimes stared at Stibbons, who shuffled his feet and reminded himself that he was a wizard and they generally didn't get arrested for meddling with the space time continuum.

“You aren't by any chance related to the Arch-Chancellor?” Stibbons asked, and if anything, Vime's face became even more wintry. Stibbons sighed.

“Very well. I must ask everyone to leave the room though. These sort of spells are not for the untrained mind.”

Vimes managed to control his expression enough not to give away his thoughts on Stibbons mind. He wanted the ghost out of the watch house more than he wanted an argument. Stibbons was already rummaging around in his robe as the watchmen left.

Vimes wished he could just arrest the spirit and be done with it. Causing a disturbance, certainty. Maybe invading government property? Intent to bugger up the life of Vimes?

 

Vimes leaned against the Brass Bridge and looked over into the depths of the Ankh. At least, his eyes did, his mind was still back at the Watch House. Absently, he reached for the silver case in his pocket, turning it around and around in his fingers.

The spirit, or whatever it was, was gone. Well and truly. Yes, the upstairs of the watch house now smelled like that bottle of perfume Nobby brought back from Klatch, but nothing had plunged through the floors now for a good four hours. 

It did mean though that the spirit was now loose elsewhere in Ankh-Morpork, which was the problem of the wizards. The minute it manifested solidly, and broke the law, then it would be his problem.

Standing on the bridge though, wasn't solving any problems, and Sybil was waiting for him. He turned away and started to walk away.

Behind him, there was the sound of tearing velvet, and a dark hole opened in the sky. Stars glittered, obscured as a figure passed by them. As the man fell from the hole, it closed behind him with a slurp, echoed by the waters of the Ankh as the man landed and started to sink. 

–

 

Chapter Two: Lost, Naked & Alone  
Loki crawls out of the Ankh, naked. Has lost some of his memory – tries to find sanctuary. Ends up under a bridge with the beggars.

Chapter Three: Falling foul of the guilds.  
Unlicensed begging/thieving – chased – hides.

Chapter Four: Recruitment  
Trying to stay out of the way, inadvertently foils robbery. Watch impressed, Carrot recruits. Loki joins city watch.

Chapter Five: Training with Carrot and Detritus  
Marching songs etc., team building. Getting to know the Watch.

Chapter Six: A bad time to meet Vimes.  
Taking paperwork to mansion. Assassin in flowerbed, training mission. Fisticuffs, Loki fights dirty. Vimes a little impressed – promoted to Sergeant. One for Vimes to keep his eye on.

Chapter Seven: Life is good.  
Day in the life of Loki, diary entry.

Chapter Eight: Vimes will go spare.  
Called to an incident at the university. Sucked through and falls again. Lands in New York, thankfully with clothes on. Utterly confused. Wants drink.

Chapter Nine: Vimes is not a happy bunny.  
Where the hell is my officer!!!!!

Chapter Ten: Attack of the Chitauri  
Skrull and Chitauri attack, Loki goes into cop mode. Glimpses of Avengers.

Chapter Eleven: Through the library with Hex  
Consulting Hex – L Space – Emerging into New York.

Chapter Twelve: So Many Questions.  
Avengers find Loki and are full of questions. Thor won't stop hugging Loki.

Chapter Thirteen: Skrulls, orang-utans, and lots of paperwork  
Discworld meets Avengers. Chaos ensues.

Chapter Fourteen: Sanity is overrated  
Thor and Loki talk. Other conversations including Vimes ad Fury.

Chapter Fifteen: Now what do we do?  
Group talk.  
Vimes vs Fury. Owned.

Chapter Sixteen: Home again, home again.  
Discworld returns home. Nobby returns goods.

Chapter Seventeen: Oh Thor.  
Surprisingly, Thor is good at sneaking.


End file.
